Author Topic: Off Topic Valentines advice-- Good luck (Read 4688 times)

DDSBYDAY

I know this is not the right place for this post. I put it here because we have a warm up coming and the fish will start hitting this Monday at about 4:42pm. Unfortunately that time coincides with St. Valentines day. I like to call it the day of "No win no matter what I do" day. I have been fortunate to live the NWD (no win day) for enough years that I can have fun with it. I think going to a popular restaurant at happy hour on NWD is just as humorous as going to a busy boat launch on opening day. The restaurants are full. The parking lots are full. 45 minute wait. I love the stress in the faces. Back when it mattered I would suggest going out to dinner the day before NWD so we could have no stress and the restaurant to ourselves.( Places are empty the day before NWD). No way would that fly. I wish you guys the best of luck. The fish will be biting and if you can find a lady that would enjoy having the lake to yourselves hang on to her. For you really young guys have your mom pick up a card for you tomorrow. NWD is a big day for the ladies. I wish you all good luck. I still screw it up everytime.

I would like to help you out but it is and always be a NWD for men. Please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

MTCOMMER

I wish it was like that. The women just like to celebrate on the 14th.... but since it falls on a Monday, a Sunday dinner might work out.

Im one that would like to buy stuff on the 15th, so I get 50% off all the gifts and card

That never works.

I wont be doing anything for NWD this year, since the

is in Milwaukee for Nursing for the next year or so. I will just spend some time with her this weekend. I will be fortunate enough to get out fishing on TUESDAY (since I only work a half day), so I will miss the bite starting by a few hours.
Anyways, back to NWD - a card is always a great idea. No matter how cliche it is, flowers and chocolate for most women/girls hits the spot. For you artsy folk, it may be a homemade gift from the heart.... also saves money. Oh yeah, flashy things are good too.....

To all with a

to share NWD with -

To all the others, enjoy the sun and 40degree weather :fishing2:

Lee Borgersen

Redneck Fisherman's Love Poem For Valentine's Day

Collards is green,
my dogs name is Blue
and I'm so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-floppimg in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's
and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass,
which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales
but I love you anyway.

Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
right out of the can.

You have some'a yore teeth,
for which I am proud;
I hold my head high
when we're in a crowd.

On special occasions,
when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven,
and awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work,
they all want to know,
what I did to deserve
such a purdy, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape
yo're there for yore man,
to patch up life's troubles
and fix what you can.

You're as cute as a junebug
a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed.

Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life
more than a fresh load of dirt.

When you hold me real tight
like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete;
Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection,
like the best vinyl sidin',
despite all the years, yore age,
it keeps hidin'.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon pie
with a RC cold drank,
we go together
like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate
for Valentine's Day;
They get it at Wal-Mart,
it's romantic that way.

Some men get roses
on that special day
from the cooler at Kroger,
"That's impressive," I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds
from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever,"
they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey,
these won't do.
Cause yor'e too special,
you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift,
without taste nor odor,
More usefull than diamonds......
IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!!!

[attachment deleted by admin]

wildlifeminnesota

I have a plane,

I

I will take the

out and get her

Saturday night and

all night then she will be to

Then come NWD to care about

or about any thing at all,

She will be so willing to send me out the door.

as then I will be :fishing2:

It a good thing she dose go on the computer,

I would be the one

As come Sunday I will be free of NWD

So I will see you all on the lake :fishing2:

DDSBYDAY

If she catches on you will get no

from us.

katfishkeith

I feel for all you guys

who have to buy useless items like flowers and such on this NWD. But I do know how lucky I am to have the wife I do. WE will be fishing all day on V Day, and that is what she asks for, yes, I am truly blessed, not to mention very smart for marrying this woman who brings home fishin lures instead of shoes or clothing. :fishing2:

Go Big Red!

Mine doesn't fish. Not always a bad thing either.

kenhuntin · « *Last Edit: February 02/12/11, 12:50:29 AM by kenhuntin* »

This is an actual craigslist ad tonight in the barter section this guy knows valentines

Trade Wife for Pile of Horse Manure - $1

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2011-02-11, 9:25PM CST
Reply to: sale-zcvtx-2210133018@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Have you got a pile of decomposing horse manure? Are you interested in a wife?

I will trade you my nagging, wide-assed, frigid wife for your pile of manure. I can't make any promises about her except that she really won't do much, but she will remind you daily that you're not doing enough. In a cold winter it can keep your ears warm on some days, but I don't think I'll need her for another summer.

I'm probably getting the better end of the deal in this kind of trade, so I'll throw in $5 to $10 to sweeten the deal. Although you'll want to hold onto the money for yourself. If you let her know about it, she'll find a way to spend it and ask for more.

Would like to close this trade before Valentine's Day, if possible.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

The General

Quote from: kenhuntin on February 02/12/11, 12:38:45 AM

This is an actual craigslist ad tonightthis guy knows valentines
Trade Wife for Pile of Horse Manure - $1

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2011-02-11, 9:25PM CST
Reply to: sale-zcvtx-2210133018@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Have you got a pile of decomposing horse manure? Are you interested in a wife?

I will trade you my nagging, wide-assed, frigid wife for your pile of manure. I can't make any promises about her except that she really won't do much, but she will remind you daily that you're not doing enough. In a cold winter it can keep your ears warm on some days, but I don't think I'll need her for another summer.

I'm probably getting the better end of the deal in this kind of trade, so I'll throw in $5 to $10 to sweeten the deal. Although you'll want to hold onto the money for yourself. If you let her know about it, she'll find a way to spend it and ask for more.

Would like to close this trade before Valentine's Day, if possible.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Go Big Red!

Too funny.

katfishkeith

My question is, " What does he want with the horse manure? "

kenhuntin

Maybe it smells better Katfish

DDSBYDAY

Quote from: kenhuntin on February 02/13/11, 10:37:32 AM

Maybe it smells better Katfish

lentz

Quote from: katfishkeith on February 02/13/11, 10:24:23 AM

My question is, " What does he want with the horse manure? "

probly for furtilizer

wildlifeminnesota · « *Last Edit: February 02/13/11, 10:37:02 PM by wildlifeminnesota* »

Quote from: wildlifeminnesota on February 02/10/11, 09:30:18 PM

I have a plane,

I I will take the out and get her Saturday night and all night then she will be to

Then come NWD to care about or about any thing at all,

She will be so willing to send me out the door. as then I will be :fishing2:

It a good thing she dose go on the computer, I would be the one

As come Sunday I will be free of NWD So I will see you all on the lake :fishing2:

Ho you want to know how this turn out

I

my plan out, I Put it in high gear last night, It was a ruff state at 8 the

got dress up, got in the

and off to the bar

we get some

and run in to some old friend as we bold

and

some more, We listing to some

as we hit the

floor had some

thing was going good

Then

turn in to a

and the glove was off

my plan was

fast and the

was taking over fast,

at 1am i had it

we got back home, I was

this plan was not going good at all, then the light turn on and the

yes the

was back

now you are

what happen next

well well well nope I can not tell you, All I will say as I did not sleep in tell hour later

Now I am FREE of NWD she sleeping all day I went :fishing2:

Plan work,

DDSBYDAY

Sounds like it was touch and go. Glad it worked out for you. I hope the fish are biting after all that work.

Just to be safe you might want to bring a card or something back with you when you get off the lake. The best we can hope for on NWD is the

or girlfriend is a little less ticked off at us than their girlfriends are at their significant others.

It takes about 3 days to feel safe again. Once the girls get to talking to each other about their valentines day a win can turn into a loss quickly.

kenhuntin

I know what you are talking about DDS. when three or more of em get together it seems they really feed off eachothers ignorance.

wildlifeminnesota

It going to take a week for the

to recover

by then that three day rule is out!!

Go Big Red!

Quote from: wildlifeminnesota on February 02/13/11, 10:33:54 PM

Quote from: wildlifeminnesota on February 02/10/11, 09:30:18 PM
I have a plane,

I I will take the out and get her Saturday night and all night then she will be to

Then come NWD to care about or about any thing at all,

She will be so willing to send me out the door. as then I will be :fishing2:

It a good thing she dose go on the computer, I would be the one

As come Sunday I will be free of NWD So I will see you all on the lake :fishing2:

Ho you want to know how this turn out
I my plan out, I Put it in high gear last night, It was a ruff state at 8 the got dress up, got in the and off to the bar we get some and run in to some old friend as we bold and some more, We listing to some as we hit the floor had some thing was going good Then turn in to a
and the glove was off my plan was fast and the was taking over fast, at 1am i had it we got back home, I was this plan was not going good at all, then the light turn on and the yes the was back now you are what happen next well well well nope I can not tell you, All I will say as I did not sleep in tell hour later Now I am FREE of NWD she sleeping all day I went :fishing2: Plan work,

You need to starting writing children's books this way. The Minnesota version of Dr. Seuss!!!

wildlifeminnesota

Well for those who do not know this. I have been with this

going on three decade that close to 30 year, So when the

want me to take her out, to

it is going to trun out two way,

By not taking the

out I would be in the

and went I do it I trun out on top

So for those that will have to dill with NWD today I hope you are as luck as me To have the most love caring kind

as I do!!
So I Wish you Luck Today

THE END

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Author Topic: Off Topic Valentines advice-- Good luck (Read 4688 times)