JOKE FOR A MONDAY

[jonmzak]

THE WORLD'S SHORTEST PSYCHIATRIC JOKE:

A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing only underwear made
of saran wrap.

The psychiatrist says, "Well..........I can clearly see your nuts"

[Woody]

That's a good one..thanks!  I can always use a laugh-especially on a Monday! 

While at work, things would sometimes get quiet, and a buddy would suddenly yell....
"Man's nuts-grab'em" 

[Fawkinnae]

I didn't know you were a Chippendale Woody.

[h2ofwlr]

Where do you think he got his name from? ;)  The ladies gave it to him...



But then again, if you asked them to desribe it, they'll say it is this long

[DaveO]

Two guys are talking about their upcoming 25th wedding anniversaries.."what are you gonna do for your 25th anniversary?" "Well, I'm gonna take my wife to Hawaii"..."Wow, that's a nice gift...Got any plans for the 50th?" "Yea, I'm gonna go back and pick her up."

[holdemtwice]

why don't republicans need bookmarks ??  because they just bend the pages over. ( i hope that i did not offend anyone) not ment to poke fun at any one at all

[h2ofwlr]

Never apoligize for a joke.  Life is tooooo dmaned short to sweat the little stuff in life.

[TNT]

Norwegian Logger


                 
A Norwegian decides to travel to Canada to see the Pacific Ocean. When he gets to Grand Rapids, he likes the place so much that he decides to stay. But, first he must find a job!!


He walks into the Monson Lumber Office and fills out an application as an experienced logger. It's his lucky day. They just happen to be looking for someone.

But first, the Bush Foreman takes him for a ride into the bush in the company pickup truck to see how much he knows. The foreman stops the truck on the side of the road and points at a tree. "See that tree over there? I want you to tell me what species it is and how many board feet of lumber it contains."

The Norwegian promptly answers, "Dat dere's a Sitka Spruce, Eh? and she got 383 board feet of lumber in 'er."


The foreman is impressed. He puts the truck in motion and stops about a mile down the road. He points at another tree through the passenger window and asks the same question. This time it's a bigger tree of a different class.


"Lord tunderin'! Dat's yer Douglas Fir and she got 690 board feet." says the Norwegian.


Now, the foreman is really impressed. The Norwegian has answered quickly and got the answers right without using a calculator!

One more test. They drive a little further down the road, and the foreman stops again. This time he points across the road through his driver side window and says, "And what about that one?"


Before the foreman finishes pointing, the Norwegian, says "A Yeller Cedar, 242 board feet at most."

The foreman spins the truck around and heads back to the office a little pissed off because he thinks the Norwegian is smarter than he. As they near the office, the foreman stops the truck and asks the Norwegian to step outside. He hands him a piece of chalk and tells him, "See that tree over there? I want you to mark an X on the front of that tree!" The foreman thinks to himself, "Idiot! How would he know which is the front of the tree?"


When the Norwegian reaches the tree, he goes around it in a circle while looking at the ground. He then reaches up and places a white X on the trunk. He walks back to the foreman and hands him the chalk.

"Dat's da front a' dat tree fer sure." the Norwegian states.


The foreman laughs to himself and asks sarcastically, " How in the Hell do you know that's the front of the tree?"

The Norwegian looks down at his feet, while rubbing the toe of his left boot cleaning it in the gravel and replies. "Cuz somebody took a crap behind it, eh?"


He got the job and now is the foreman.

[jonmzak]

LMAO 

[WoodChuck]

  !! that sure is a good woodsman mouth full !

 oh ya !! dont make funn of us norwegians !!  lol

[Realtree]

That's hilarious TNT.