One wrong move...the camera gets it!

[jigglestick]

Last weekend as some of you know, I went to my buddy's place to go deer hunting.
going over my checklist of things to bring, I looked at my camera sitting on my desk and I thought "naw, I'm just going to shoot a doe" "it'll probably just sit in the truck in the sub-zero temps and that won't be any good for it"
"forget it"
so I left it behind.
after a good, yet fruitless weekend, I was thinking that it was a good thing I left it home....by the way where is my camera??
it was sitting right here by the printer I thought to myself.
hey Dan, I said to my eldest son, "have you seen my camera"?
"nope, never touched it".
hmmm, I know I left it right here I kept telling myself.
"Kate, Andrew" "have you kids seen my camera"?
in unison, they chimed "Nope".

now this was starting to bug me..."Honey"?
"have you seen my..." "NO..where did you use it last" she asked me?
I explained that "I was going to take it with me and then I decided to leave it behind which is precisely what I did".
" now someone has moved it and I need it and I can't find it"!
"what do you need it for" she asked?
" What does that matter"?
" the issue here is that it's gone and I don't have it".

so the last two days have gone on, but I just cant rest. no peace of mind you know.

then when I head to my truck to go to home depot today, as I get in my truck, what do you suppose I see on the drivers seat?
HA!...nope, not my camera, instead, a note.
on the note, it is written,
"dear sir...I have your camera"
"if you ever want to see your camera alive again, you will follow my instructions to a T"
"I want three dollars and seventy five cents in small unmarked quarters".
"you will receive a brief phone call with instructions on where to leave the money"
"no funny buisness either"
"any sign of mom or the cops and the camera gets it"!

well now, I am relieved and terrified all at once.
I know my camera is at least somewhere, but it's in danger of being whacked!

what to do?
how am I going to gather that much money before the phone call?
which number will they call, my house number or my cell number?
what if they call my cell number with instructions and I loose reception while getting the instructons?
egads!

so I gather up the house phone, and my cell phone, dig in my pants, the ashtray in the truck and I only come up with three fifty!!
oh no!
so I scramble through the van, digging under the seats, glove box and viola! one more quarter!
pheww! that was close.
now, up to the roof to make sure I get reception and wait.
I waited only five minutes, but it seemed like hours when the cell rang.
in a deep, yet high pitched voice, they said, "Mr. Doree"
"yes" I replied...
"do you have the money"?
I swallowed hard.."yes, I have it all"
"good" they said "we...I mean I need you to leave the money in a lunch box that is in the fort in the tree in the back yard".
"wait"! how do I know my camera is alright"? " I want to hear from the camera"!
"um...alright"
I could tell there was more than one of them because I could hear in the background one say to the other, "he wants to hear from the camera"
"how do you turn it on"? "I don't know"? "your such a dork" they argued a little bit then I heard the unmistakeable sound...whirrr..bleep!
hey that's my camera
"ok, now leave the money in the lunch box and no funny buisness"!!
"once you do that you will get another call to tell you where to find your camera".

down the roof I went and directly to the fort I went, no funny buisness.
I wasn't taking any chances.
back to my roof position and like clockwork the phone rang again...
"Mr Doree, your camera will be sitting on your dresser".

once again, I climbed down from the roof and ran into the house.
"where you going honey" my wife asked? "just a minute".
sure enough, wouldn't ya know it, there was my camera, sitting on my dresser!
I was so relieved.
I went back down to show my wife and explain my ordeal.
she just shook her head at me. I dont think she believed me, but I wasn't there to try to convince her. I was just so relieved to have my camera back. then...I thought, maybe a chance to catch the culprit!
out to the back yard I ran, camera in hand, up to the fort but the lunch box was opened, money gone!
dread, I was to late.

in the driveway was Kate and Andrew, playing basketball.
'Kids" I yelled. "yes dad"?
"have you seen anybody out back in the yard, ...by the fort"?
"no father" "why"?
"aw...never mind".
"hey dad, could you bring us to the store"?
"we would like to buy a couple sodas" "we have our own money".
"sure kids" "hop in the truck".

"hey dad, you found your camera" one said.
not wanting to trouble them with my troubles,I told them
"yeah, I just found it upstairs".

[Super Star!]

good one lol

[Mayfly]

Now that was a good read!

[tripnchip]

  thanks jiggle you jst made the much britter

[Grute Man]

WHEW!  Im glad you made it through that.  Touch and go there.  Like climbin across a cob web.  A real life hostage situation.  And you did it.  Congrats, Jigs.  That was too close for comfort.     

Grute 

[HUNTER2]

hey Jiggle, I still think you missed your calling. I think you should be a writer!

[barebackjack]

hey Jiggle, I still think you missed your calling. I think you should be a writer!

How many times are we going to have to tell the guy this before he puts White Lightning to rest and hails his real calling.........

[Merimac]

I enjoyed this very much!  Thanks!

[Big Slick]

WOW!!!
Very impressive the way you handled that sticky situation. Most people would have cracked under the pressure and called the cops.

[Grute Man]

I thought this was so funny, I copied it and changed the nams to fit my family then e-mailed it to a bunch of friends and family.  Of course most thought I was just being nutty as usual    but I had 2 or 3 aske me if it were true.     I think that's even funnier than the story. 

Here's to a great story    Read me another story please.   

[jigglestick]

I had one I wrote about a pair of diamond ear rings. Pat may remember that one.
I wish I still had it. it was pretty good.
the best parts was talking to my buddy Ken about it and laughing etc. at the end, when he asked me, "you didn't really do that did you?"

that was the payoff to me

I wonder if someone who isnt banned over at lakestates can go do a search under my user name for diamond ear rings.
if you find it, bring it over here. it was kinda funny.

[Mayfly]

I wonder if someone who isnt banned over at lakestates can go do a search under my user name for diamond ear rings.
if you find it, bring it over here. it was kinda funny.

I tried but when they lost everything when they made the switch to the new theme...There is no jigglestick there......

[Grute Man]

How about the "Euligy to Frisbee."  ??  That was great too.   

[Spinach]

The Diamond earrings story belongs in the hall of fame. Best story without a doubt!

I tried to retrieve it a long time ago, but it was gone. I know you posted it on the old IBOT site too, i wonder if anyone can get it from there?

[jigglestick]

kinda makes me wish I'd have kept a journal...alas....

I'm sorta demented I think.
do we still have the mosquito poem?

[Spinach]

Running over a dog with Dan was another good one too. Something about a lady, money and a dog?

[jigglestick]

crap I wish I had kept all those

[jigglestick]

here's the mosquito one

I dig it up each spring.

twas the eve of this tuesday, i was clicking my mouse, the new days of spring were blowing fresh air threw the house.
the children were outside shooting a squirrel. both of the boys including the girl. with a loud BANG, they landed their quary, I yelled"knock it off" they said "whats the worry".

"I'll tell you alright" "and I will in a quick" "but for now each of you get in here,... bring a stick"! they all came in with caution and fear.
"bring me that stick and bring it right here".
the smallest of kids said "dad what did we do"?
i said no more than you were asked to" "now dont you worry were going to play a game"
it's called kill the skeeto" I asked "how's your aim"?
we all sat and listend and looking around, for that whizzing and buzzing, that horrible sound
when my eldest yelled out "i see him right there"! I yelled "where"? he said "right there just above the waistband of your underwear"!
before i could mutter, "don't even think..." my youngest son swung without a wink.
i won't tell you next what exactly i said, but my skin turned white and my eyes turned red!
"I got him, I got him" my little one said.
i thanked the dear child and told them "get ready for bed".
it goes without saying. it is with good reason that we ablsolutely positively MUST KILL THE FIRST MOSQUITO OF THE SEASON.

WELCOME BACK SUMMER!!

[Grute Man]

Jiggs, you truly have a gift.  You're a darn fool if you don't start puttin those down on paper, write a book or somethin.  I wish I was that creative.   

[barebackjack]

You know I had all of these compiled in that file in my computer, the one we got the Bobbo story from and now its gone prolly in that old dell in some landfill, forgot to take that file with me when I changed over to the HP, go ahead, kick my ass, I deserve it!