So Goose calls me up the other day and he's pissin and moanin about his sore toe.
so I says "thats nothin." "I got this shoulder thats been actin up and I cant get it to quit."
So goose says "well, it's more than my toe really, it goes all the way into my foot ya know."" in fact it's kinda swelled up."
So I says to him, "swelled up, dont tell me about it."" this pain goes right down my arm and out my elbow."" I think its the roomatoid stuff."
So Goose said"that sounds awful." "ya know I been gettin this pain in my hip lately." "I cant hardly sleep on my right side for more than eight or ten hours at a time."
Oh Goose, I know what you mean, I gots me a sore knee like you wouldnt believe. sometimes it just locks up and I cant get anywhere. I just sort of go in circles.
Goose says, "you know Jiggle, we aint gettin any younger."
So I says to him, "I thought they said these were the golden years." "All I'm findin is rusty metal."
You know Goose, I was thinkin about endin it, you know, on my own turms.
Ya Jiggs, I was thinkin the same thing. In fact I tried the other day...
"Well", I asked "what happened, how comes your still here?" "to be honest with you, I just couldn't do it". I had me a whole bottle of sleeping pills and a jug a booze.
"What happened?" I asked?
Well Goose says, I took a couple of them sleepin pills but chickened out of takin all of them and the next thing I know I woke up to the wife naggin at me for layin around sleepin durin the middle of the day.
"I still got the jug of booze!"
Well to be honest with you Goose, I too had the same thinkin.
I took my old 30-30 out to the woods to end it all. Just the way I pictured goin out, on my own turms, in the woods ya know.
"so?"..Goose asked, "What happened, how come your still here?"
It's just like I said, I goes out to the woods with the gun and a bullet, finds a stump to sit on and I sits there for a while, thinkin and stuff....AND? asks Goose, well while I was sittin there thinkin, this forkhorn walks out.
OH the luck I think, realizing I still had my buck tag, so I shot the deer!
then I realized that was my only bullet, so I drug the deer out and went home.
Goose says, "Maybe if I had a little help, I could go through with it."
I know what you mean Goosey. I was thinkin the same thing.
Tell you what, lets get our deer rifles.We'll go out to the woods, I'll shoot you and you shoot me.
"Wow, you'd do that for me?" Goose asked.
Why sure I would, your my best buddy.
So we gets our guns and heads out to the woods.
We finds one of our old favorite huntin spots overlooking secret lake.
this looks like a good spot to me Goose. Ya Jiggles, this looks like a good spot to end it all.
Now how we gonna do this Goose? He says "simple, you point the gun at me and I point the gun at you and we shoots each other.
Ya, that should do it. Ready?
Yep, here goes nothin....WAIT! Did you load yer gun Goose? Oh, thanks for remindin me Jiggle, that woulda been kinda awkward for ya wouldnt it?
There, now I'm ready.
Hey Goose, where do you want me to shoot you?
I dont know, maybe in the heart. Yeah, in the heart, they usualy don't go far with a good heart shot.
Good idea, me too, shoot me there too. I don't want to go to far.
ok, now ya ready?
Yep, ok, here goes nothin on the count of three....one....two...WAIT! yells Goose, "Do you want to leave a note or anything?
I never thought of that, what would we write?
I don't know Jiggle? I just thought people that were goin to end it all, left notes.
Whats the point, I was gonna leave all my decoys an guns to you.
Goose says hey, that was awful nice of you Jiggs.
just so you know, I was gonna leave my duck boat to you.
aw, your the best Goose. sure appreciate the gesture.
Yeah, we don't need no note.
So are ya ready?
"Ya," says Goose, "on the count of three...one...two....""WAIT!" I yell, "is it one- two- bang, or one-two-three-bang?"
Um, I think one-two-three-bang.
"Ok, ya ready?" he asks?
Yep, lets do it.
I'll count, ONE - TWO - .....TWO AND A HALF ............................... hey Goose, look over there, the bay is froze over.
Yeah? Remember when we caught that nice mess of slabs out there through the ice?
Oh yeah, they was comin out the holes fast as we could throw down our hooks.
Boy some fresh crappies would sure tast good right about now I says. "Yeah, come to think about it, I'm gettin pretty hungry." says Goose. "Lets go have some lunch and fire up the auger." "Then we'll go catch us some of them slabs."
"That sounds like a great Idea"
"hey," I asked, "what about your sore foot?"
"Come to think about it, it"s feelin a bit better."
"What about your bum knee?"
"Ya know, now that you mention it, I almost forgot about it."
"yeah, and the wives say we never do nothin all day."
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Topic: Goose and Jiggle end it all (Read 5637 times)
