You have to admit this is funny.......

[luvnlife]

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked
you at 80 miles per hour, sir."

The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps
your radar gun needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says, "Now don't be silly
dear,
you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife
and growls; "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar
detector went off when it did."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar
detector
unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn
it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

The office r frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your
seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."

The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it
off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my
back
pocket."

The wife says, "Now,dear, you know very well that you didn't have your
seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver
turns
to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always
talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

(I love this part....)

"Only when he's been drinking."

[iceman]

 

[Woody]

OMG!  good one! 

[holdemtwice]

 

[QuillGordon]

Is it my imagination or does the opposite gender have a very dry sense of humor??  My wife loved the joke!! I , however, can just visualize it really happening to me.. lol

[rchaze60]

FUNNY yeah my woman too thought it was funny lol

[holdemtwice]

 I thought  it was funny because i could see my mother doing that to my father .

[QuillGordon]

Not married   huh????

[JD]

Not married   huh????

???

[holdemtwice]

Oh no  dont fool yourself,  i am married. My wife wouldnt ever do that to me . But cheers to all that have a wife that will ..  lmao

[luvnlife]

I still like it, I would never do that either but I can see some women doing it. I can say that everyone I gave it to laughed or let out a little giggle.

[Realtree]

I can see some of my friends wives doing that to them. My wife never would do that to me...at least that's what I keep telling myself and so far I am conviced. Ha ha.

[holdemtwice]

i am still laffing         

[luvnlife]

Good I like it when people laugh.....Keep laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[DaveO]

you may think thats funny,,,,,,,but but some gals are like that

[CentralFishingClub]

I really like this one.   8)

[CentralFishingClub]

i am still laffing         

   :o

[sunk1]

  what a riot . Things like that have happened to me. thats why im not married any more.

[Crazy4Outdoors]

This one's  kinda funny...

    Joe and John were identical twins. Joe owned an old dilapidated boat and kept pretty much to himself. One day he rented out his boat to a group of out-of-staters who ended up sinking it. He spent all day trying to salvage as much stuff as he could from the sunken vessel and was out of touch all that day and most of the evening. Unbeknownst to him, his brother John's wife had died suddenly in his absence.
    When he got back on shore he went into town to pick up a few things at the grocery. A kind old woman there mistook him for John and said, "I'm so sorry for your loss. You must feel terrible."
    Joe, thinking she was talking about his boat said, "Hell no! Fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always holding water. She had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too.
Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy."
    "I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to those four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good and that she smelled bad. But they wanted her anyway. The damn fools tried to get in her all at one time and she split right up the middle."
    The old woman fainted.    Joe and John were identical twins. Joe owned an old dilapidated boat and kept pretty much to himself. One day he rented out his boat to a group of out-of-staters who ended up sinking it. He spent all day trying to salvage as much stuff as he could from the sunken vessel and was out of touch all that day and most of the evening. Unbeknownst to him, his brother John's wife had died suddenly in his absence.
    When he got back on shore he went into town to pick up a few things at the grocery. A kind old woman there mistook him for John and said, "I'm so sorry for your loss. You must feel terrible."
    Joe, thinking she was talking about his boat said, "Hell no! Fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always holding water. She had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too.
Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy."
    "I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to those four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good and that she smelled bad. But they wanted her anyway. The damn fools tried to get in her all at one time and she split right up the middle."
    The old woman fainted.

[repoman]

 :ROTFLMAO: ::cheers::