BBQ Rules-

[Bobby Bass]

BBQ RULES   We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor   cooking activity.  When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...   
(1)   The woman buys the food.   
(2)   The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert .   
(3)   The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.   
(4)   The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:   
(5)   THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
More routine...   
(6)   The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.   
(7)   The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat   

Important again:   
(8)   THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine...   
(9)   The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.   
(10)   After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:   
(11)   Everyone   PRAISES   the   MAN   and   THANKS HIM    for his cooking efforts.   
(12)   The man asks the woman how she enjoyed '  her night off   ',   and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

[Grute Man]

I like it all except my woman is a vegitarian. I'm sorry.  So rule #1 and #3 are OUT.  She inevitably buys the absolute worst meat in the store.  We've been together for 23 years and she still gets it wrong -- I'm not kidding.  I've told her she's forbidden to buy or prepare any meat I'm going to eat.

Other than that, I think it should be part of our constitution.