Dead Hunter Has His Best Hunting Trip Ever
This brown bear was tricked by a dead hunter.
JUNEAU, ALASKA – Marty Anderson, Steve Holland and their long-time hunting buddy Brian Kettler, all of Yankton, had been planning their Alaskan brown bear trip for over three years.
“I had told a friend of mine that I would really like to go on a brown bear hunt,” said Anderson. ”He told me he knew a guy who was going to be opening up hunting on a island he owned in Alaska and put me in touch with him. It turned out that it took that guy a couple of years to get all of the permits he needed but it finally got approved and so this spring we were set to go.”
This was to be the trip of a lifetime for the three friends and avid hunters. The island had never been hunted before and supposedly contained world-record caliber bear. They were to be the first party to hunt the island; a five-day trip where they would be dropped on shore and then make their way inland to set up camp.
As they approached the island a large bear on the shore made for the woods. “We were pumped,” said Steve. “We hadn’t even unloaded our gear and we’d already seen a trophy.” The two mile trek inland to their chosen camping spot with all of their gear dampened spirits a bit. By the time they reached their destination they were all tired and decided to nap before scouting the area.
Holland and Anderson awoke and begun to make plans for the next day. Kettler remained in his tent. “We just thought he was really tired,” said Steve. “Marty and I scouted out some good spots, came back to camp, made supper and went to bed. The next morning after we finished breakfast, we thought we’d better wake Brian up.”
That was when they discovered their friend had passed away. “It was smelling pretty bad by his tent so we didn’t really want to go in but he wouldn’t answer us so we had to look. At that point everything changed.”
The men considered dragging the body to their pick-up point but finally decided just to leave him and keep hunting. “We hunted hard for the next three days and didn’t see a thing. We only had one day left and half of that was going to be wasted dragging Brian out of the woods. It was then one of us made the comment that we had to get him out of camp because the smell could bring in the bears and the light just kind of went on,” Holland continued.
Leaving Kettler wrapped in his sleeping bag the men tied a rope around him and hung him from a near-by tree. “I swear, it wasn’t 20 minutes and we heard this bear coming through the brush,” said an animated Anderson. “We knew it was big just from the sound. He went right up to where Brian was hanging and Steve took him down in one shot.”
But they weren’t through. ‘We were standing over the bear high-fiving when we heard more noise,” said Holland. “We hustled back to our blind and sure enough another big bear comes right up to Brian and Marty blasted him. He ran about 25 yards and collapsed. That bear was as big as the first!”
A too-good-to-be-true story was about to get better. “So now we started walking back to where Brian was hanging and we see the body swinging back and forth being pawed by a monster bear way bigger than the other two. We had one more tag so there was no question. We both raised our guns and fired.”
Unbelievably, their tale wasn’t over yet. “We went back to camp for dinner but were so excited we had to go back and get one more look at that trophy. Marty had me hold up the head and was about to take a picture when he asked me if I noticed something missing. Sure enough, Brian was gone.”
The men searched for the body for a time but then knew they had to get packed up and ready for the outfitter who was to come to their camp in the morning. “We kind of felt bad about losing the body but we had those three bear to get out so that would be a job in itself,” said Marty.
“When the outfitter showed up with his four-wheeler the next morning we showed him the bear and then he took some more pictures of us before we started loading them up. It was when we started telling him about how we had lost Brian that he started laughing.”
And why not? On his arrival on shore that morning the outfitter had found a mauled sleeping bag with Kettler’s body still inside. It seems the bear had dragged the body to the shore saving the boys a lot of work.
“I got to tell you,” said Marty. “If it wasn’t for Brian dying, we probably never would have got a single bear. What a pal.”
The story above is parody / satire and entirely fictitious. iFoolNews uses invented names in all its ‘Headline News’ stories, except in cases when public figures are being parodied / satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental.
This brown bear was tricked by a dead hunter:
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