Birdshot and backlashes

[Lee Borgersen]

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Birdshot and backlashes

by: Bob Cary (the Ely Echo)




The L.L. Bean catalogs are always fascinating. We don?t buy a lot of stuff from L.L. Bean, the mail order outdoor store in Freeport, Maine, but their catalogs are fun to look through. Like the current spring catalog which sort of fills us in on what clothing is cool and hip for the summer.

We long ago determined what we wear in the outdoors and that doesn?t change much. But the new stuff is really eye catching.

Like, here?s a cute looking model getting ready to load up her canoe and she is wearing sandals. Which is fine unless you happen to live or spend a lot of time on the canoe trails. They also have some footgear called ?slides? which are sort of like sandals, but slip on like bedroom slippers. A person would need to be awful brave or awful silly to wear something like these things on his feet on a canoe trail. Toes open. Very little protection for the ankles. A perfect set up for lacerated feet.

On the other hand, Beans also have good trail boots that they sell to people who know what to wear in the woods. But sandals are a hoot.

And then they have all kinds of shorts. There is nothing wrong with shorts unless you try to wear them on a canoe trip. On portage trails, mosquitoes, blackflies and ticks can have a feast on one?s epidermis. They even have pants with the lower part that zips off so you can convert your pants to shorts. And as soon as the bugs show up, you can zip the lower part of the pants right back on.

A person has to wonder if they ever try some of this stuff out in a real woods. But it doesn?t matter because it looks jazzy and it sells. Again, Beans stocks real outdoor clothing for people who are aware of bugs and don?t particularly care to feed them. They carry two sets of clothing: The clothes that are eye-catching and the clothes for people who know the outdoors.

Over the years we have seen a lot of strange outfits in the woods, all the way down to nothing. Zero. Bare skin. Every few years on the canoe trails, we have seen nudies paddling or sitting in camp without a stitch on. Attempting to get real close to nature, perhaps.

Once I was guiding a family on a canoe trip into Quetico Park and as we pulled up to Prairie Portage in the tow boat there was a guy and a gal, both stark naked, sitting on a log. The family let out a gasp. The nudies jumped up and ran down the trail toward the ranger station.

?Well!? exclaimed said the guy?s wife in my guide party. ?I never thought we would see anything like that up here in the northwoods.?

Thinking fast, I pointed out that now and then a person may run across something a trifle bizarre, but this was not the norm.

?Anyway,? I said, ?It is always nice to see a couple of nudes going across a trail ahead of you.?

?Why is that?? the wife asked.

?Because they will take all the mosquitoes and blackflies with them and we will not see so many bugs when we go across.?

Nobody has ever explained to me why some people feel they have to peel off all their clothes when they are in the BWCAW and parade round in the buff. It may be that they are seeking an overall tan or something, but during bug season they are simply ridiculous

But, everyone to their own thing, I guess. If people want to feed the bugs, go right ahead.