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Author Topic: Just funnies.....  (Read 446701 times)

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

August 08/27/21, 09:05:51 AM Reply #960

Offline Jerkbiat

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Re: Just funnies.....
That is a good one GT!!! :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
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Hey look your bobber is up!
August 08/27/21, 10:12:30 AM Reply #961

Offline LPS

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Re: Just funnies.....
A little too much of a good thing.....
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August 08/27/21, 10:21:23 AM Reply #962

Offline Rebel SS

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Re: Just funnies.....
 :rolleyes:
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August 08/27/21, 10:23:30 AM Reply #963

Offline glenn57

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Re: Just funnies.....
 :censored: :doah: awe gawd.......that's disqusting!!!!!!!!!! :puke:
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2015 deer slayer!!!!!!!!!!
August 08/27/21, 10:24:16 AM Reply #964

Offline LPS

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Re: Just funnies.....
Unreal.  How would you like to see your daughter bring him home???  NOT!!
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August 08/27/21, 10:24:28 AM Reply #965

Offline Rebel SS

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Re: Just funnies.....
Ya it is. There are wingnuts like that running around down here.... :puke:
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August 08/27/21, 10:27:46 AM Reply #966

Offline Rebel SS

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Re: Just funnies.....
 :happy1:
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August 08/27/21, 11:24:03 AM Reply #967

Offline Cooperman

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Re: Just funnies.....
It coulda been me!
I was sitting at a long stoplight yesterday, minding my own business, patiently waiting for it to turn green even though there was no on-coming traffic.
A carload of scruffy-bearded, young men shouting Anti-American slogans with a half-burned American Flag duct-taped on the trunk of their car and a "Remember George Floyd" slogan spray painted on the side stopped next to me.
Suddenly they yelled, "Defund the police" and took off before the light changed.

Out of nowhere an 18-wheeler came speeding through the intersection and ran directly over their car, crushing it completely and killing everyone in it.

For several minutes I sat in my car thinking to myself, "Man ... that coulda been me!”

So today, bright and early, I went out and got a job as a truck driver.
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August 08/27/21, 11:26:23 AM Reply #968

Offline mike89

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Re: Just funnies.....
 :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :happy1:
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a bad day of fishing is still better than a good day at work!!
August 08/27/21, 12:54:34 PM Reply #969

Offline GrandpaTom

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Re: Just funnies.....
 :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
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August 08/27/21, 01:24:30 PM Reply #970

Offline Rebel SS

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Re: Just funnies.....
 :rotflmao:
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August 08/27/21, 01:28:38 PM Reply #971

Offline Rebel SS

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Re: Just funnies.....
Ordering pizza in our new world....
 
 
CALLER:
Is this Gordon's Pizza?

GOOGLE:
No sir, it's Google Pizza.

CALLER:
I must have dialed a wrong number.  Sorry.

GOOGLE:
No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.

CALLER:
OK.  I would like to order a pizza.

GOOGLE:
Do you want your usual, sir?

CALLER:
My usual? You know me?

GOOGLE:
According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.

CALLER:
OK! That’s what I want ...

GOOGLE:
May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?

CALLER:
What? I detest vegetable pizza!

GOOGLE:
Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

CALLER:
How the hell do you know!

GOOGLE:
Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records.  We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

CALLER:
Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza!  I already take medication for my cholesterol.

GOOGLE:
Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly.  According to our database, you only purchased abox of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.

CALLER:
I bought more from another drugstore.

GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.

CALLER:
I paid in cash!

GOOGLE:
But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.

CALLER:
I have other sources of cash.

GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.

CALLER:
WHAT THE HELL!

GOOGLE:
I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.

CALLER:
Enough already!  I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others.  I'm going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.
 
GOOGLE:   
I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first.  It expired 6 weeks ago...
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August 08/27/21, 03:42:31 PM Reply #972

Offline LPS

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Re: Just funnies.....
 :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :happy1:  Ain't that the truth!!!  I haven't looked at FB in a few months.  Was always the same stuff. 
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August 08/27/21, 04:01:53 PM Reply #973

Offline Steve-o

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Re: Just funnies.....
And lets not forget all the times like when you tell your wife that you are thinking about getting a new battery charger and suddenly your Marketplace feed shows you 6 options to choose from.   :doah: :scratch: :censored:
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August 08/28/21, 08:41:38 AM Reply #974

Offline Rebel SS

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Re: Just funnies.....
Got an email in my promotions inbox today from Flat Farm....said "we see you were looking at this" ..(Charcoal briquet sale) "here's some accessories you might also like"...sheesh!  :doah:
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August 08/29/21, 06:52:43 AM Reply #975

Offline HD

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Re: Just funnies.....
 ;)
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Mama always said, If you ain't got noth'in nice to say, don't say noth'in at all!
August 08/29/21, 07:05:40 AM Reply #976

Offline mike89

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Re: Just funnies.....
 :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
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a bad day of fishing is still better than a good day at work!!
August 08/29/21, 07:12:54 AM Reply #977

Offline Jerkbiat

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Re: Just funnies.....
 :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
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Hey look your bobber is up!
August 08/29/21, 08:18:30 AM Reply #978

Offline Rebel SS

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Re: Just funnies.....
 :shocked:
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August 08/29/21, 08:26:03 AM Reply #979

Offline glenn57

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Re: Just funnies.....
 :bonk: :bonk: :bonk: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: both of them!!!!!!!!
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2015 deer slayer!!!!!!!!!!
August 08/29/21, 08:29:38 AM Reply #980

Offline Jerkbiat

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Re: Just funnies.....
 :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
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Hey look your bobber is up!
August 08/30/21, 07:49:45 AM Reply #981

Offline LPS

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Re: Just funnies.....
 :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :happy1:  Ain't that the truth.
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August 08/30/21, 10:45:59 AM Reply #982

Offline Dotch

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Re: Just funnies.....
 ;)
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Time itself is bought and sold, the spreading fear of growing old contains a thousand foolish games that we play. (Neil Young)
August 08/30/21, 10:53:35 AM Reply #983

Offline mike89

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Re: Just funnies.....
 :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :happy1:
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a bad day of fishing is still better than a good day at work!!
August 08/30/21, 10:54:05 AM Reply #984

Offline Steve-o

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Re: Just funnies.....
Way back in the day I heard of high school girls who would but liquor in their roller bottles of lip gloss.
« Last Edit: August 08/30/21, 11:42:19 AM by Steve-o »
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August 08/31/21, 07:17:04 AM Reply #985

Offline LPS

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Re: Just funnies.....
 :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :happy1:
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August 08/31/21, 07:43:12 AM Reply #986

Offline Rebel SS

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Re: Just funnies.....
 :shocked:
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August 08/31/21, 08:12:33 AM Reply #987

Offline Jerkbiat

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Re: Just funnies.....
 :happy1: :happy1:
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Hey look your bobber is up!
August 08/31/21, 10:03:37 AM Reply #988

Offline Leech~~

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Re: Just funnies.....
Quote from: Rebel SS on August 08/31/21, 07:43:12 AM
:shocked:

Um, I think it's "In the woods"  Not a clearing!  :doah:   :rotflmao:
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Cooking over a open fire is all fun and games until someone losses a wiener!
August 08/31/21, 12:52:27 PM Reply #989

Offline Jerkbiat

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Re: Just funnies.....
Actually it is on the road and they kick it in.  ;)
Logged
Hey look your bobber is up!
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