Questions just begging for answers!

[Bobby Bass]

Question just begging for answers, Have a question that has you shaking your head or can't answer. Here is a place for questions and answers.. I'll start it off

Post office has no parking signs, it's federal property, Who writes the parking ticket? 

Those touch lamps. You know the kind you touch and they turn off and on, How come my cats can lay on top of them and they don't turn on?   

[Faceman]

Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

[Cody Gruchow]

the federal meter maid of course.

and maybe the fur on the cat has something to do with it. shave it then have it lay on it and see what happens

[Pegg]

Buckhunter you have been dying to say that.

[Cody Gruchow]

had to say it. couldnt help it

[Grute Man]

Out of all the things that can fly, why did the common house fly get the name "The Fly?"

[GirlGuide]

Here's a few questions for you:
 
These have been around a while but are still fun....





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              Ponderisms

 


Can you cry under water?


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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

 


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Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?


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Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

 


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Why does a round pizza come in a square box?


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What disease did cured ham actually have?

 


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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

 


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Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

 


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If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

 


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Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

 


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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

 


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Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

 


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Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

 


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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

 


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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

 


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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

 


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If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

 


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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

 


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If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

 


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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

 


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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

 


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Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

 


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Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

 


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Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

 


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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

 


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Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?

 

 

 


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[GRIZ]

I had a bunch of these things on the IBOT site until it lost it's memory and got redone. At the time all I can remember is a couple.

If you were traveling at the speed of light and turned your headlights on would anything happen?

Since a jackpine savage has all four legs on one side how come they don't tip over?

Why does swiss cheese have holes?

How come people complain about mowing the lawn but start watering it when it turns nice and brown?

When people say "I'm gonna hit the road" Does it hurt?

Why do monkeys have more hair than eskimos when not any live in alaska?

[Bobby Bass]

 
So just more questions. no one has an answer for me.

"Those touch lamps. You know the kind you touch and they turn off and on, How come my cats can lay on top of them and they don't turn on?"  Must be an answer out there, cats arn't big enough to ground the lamp out? 

Found the answer..  Guess the cats arn't big enough..

Touch-sensitive lamps almost always use a fourth property of the human body -- its capacitance. The word "capacitance" has as its root the word "capacity" -- capacitance is the capacity an object has to hold electrons. The lamp, when standing by itself on a table, has a certain capacitance. This means that if a circuit tried to charge the lamp with electrons, it would take a certain number to "fill it." When you touch the lamp, your body adds to its capacity. It takes more electrons to fill you and the lamp, and the circuit detects that difference. It is even possible to buy little plug-in boxes that can turn any lamp into a touch-sensitive lamp. They work on the same principle.

[HD]

Ya'll use'n them big words there Bobby........ya lost me.......



No, but really.....the body mass would play a role in the operation of this fine piece of mechanical marvel!

 

Good one!

Hunter

[thunderpout]

OK... these two are from a crash test dummies song, but I think they're great.: "If you got yer eye poked out, here on earth, would it be waiting for you in heaven?"(thats asuming ya make it there...) and : "How does a duck tell its wife from all the other ducks?" Hmmmm.......      -thunderpout

[Bobby Bass]

I thought only your sprit travels on and ducks use scent. I can sure tell my wife by her perfume.  666

[thunderpout]

     -thunderpout

[brodo]

Why is it when you talk to god its called praying when god talks to you it's called sctizophrenia

[thunderpout]

That or a prophet....          -thunderpout

[Faceman]

If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does a make a noise?
If there is no woman around when a man speaks, is he still wrong?

[CampYJewel]

Regarding your second question Faceman, He probally is       JK

[Faceman]

Yep thats what my wife always tell me.

[GRIZ]

Faceman since you have a wife, why do you have the internet? They seem to know it all. Just ask her once.

[Bobby Bass]

Between me and my wife we know the answer to everything, Go ahead, ask me a question!!

[Faceman]

Faceman since you have a wife, why do you have the internet? They seem to know it all. Just ask her once.

Good question Griz. I guess I am shelling out money every month for nothing.

[thunderpout]

Yeah but ye can shut down yer PC!      -thunderpout

[Faceman]

 

[bemidjiman]

If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does a make a noise?

It does send out sound waves. You need the right equipment (ear) to pick that up.