Oh, don't get me started.
My wife has four bird feeders and three suet feeders here. I say that my wife has bird feeders so that I don't have to take the blame. All the squirrels in the entire county have heard about these feeders and visit here frequently. Little hoodlums. They come tumbling out of the trees three and four at a time in the morning. They lay up in the feeder tray two at a time and stuff their faces.
This Was War
I can't shoot them because I'm too close to neighbors. I can't trap them and kill them because pets might wander into the trap. I tried using my Hav-A-Hart and transporting them. I was relocating a squirrel every other day. I thought they were finding their way back to my house, so I was driving them further and further away. I told a buddy about this and he said, "That won't work, other squirrels will just come in to fill that vacuum." So I started replacing feeders with "squirrel proof" feeders".
Squirrel-Proof Feeders
"Squirrel-proof" feeders are expensive. Not all "squirrel proof " feeders are squirrel-proof as we learned after my wife bought the first one. The squirrels found the "squirrel-proof" mesh surrounding the feeder convenient for hanging from. The second "squirrel-proof" feeder worked like a charm. It turns out that cardinals won't eat at these feeders. The cardinals only eat at the non-squirrel-proof feeder. The Squirrel DinerĀ®. I went through two hundred pounds of bird seed last year because of those squirrels.
We had had a war between us, me and the squirrels. I would run outside and chase them off that one feeder, cussing and throwing anything I could find. Ice cubes work well because I could grab a handful fast. One day I went running outside screaming at the squirrels, "I'll twist your tail! I'll pull your whiskers!", not knowing that the neighbor lady was on the other side of the fence. Imagine my embarrassment (I wonder why they moved?). Then I started putting the garden hose in an easy-to-reach spot and I had them on the run. Oh, it was fun to see their surprise now that I could reach them way up in a tree. I had them at bay. Except for the few seeds they could grab, while I had my back turned, I had them at bay.
My daughter gave me one of those Horsehead Squirrel Feeders for Father's Day last Spring!
An Uneasy Truce
As the new owner of a Horsehead Squirrel Feeder, I was expected to have fun with the squirrels. I found myself in the position of trying to lure squirrels in! And I did. I was given peanuts to put in the HorseHead Squirrel Feeder and peanut butter.
The HorseHead Squirrel Feeder was hilarious to watch when a squirrel had his upper body in it. Just like the video. I had squirrels everywhere, lounging around, grazing. The squirrels were living large. This went on for a month.
Redemption
I took a picture of a squirrel eating at that feeder and sent it to my daughter. I made sure everybody actually saw a squirrel feeding at the HorseHead Feeder. Then, I took that feeder down and put it in the bottom of a box in the basement. Then I got out the hose.