Tampa Bay Lightning Q & A
It took me over 15 minutes to make up all these Q & A's
Q: What do the Tampa Bay Lightning and the Titanic have in common?
A: They both look good until they hit the ice!
Q: What’s the difference between Frequent Flyer Miles and the Tampa Bay Lightning?
A: Frequent Flyer Miles earn points.
Q: Why do Lightning fans drink from a saucer?
A: Because the cup's always in Chicago
Q: Why did the Lightning enforcer retire early?
A: He was ice fishing and got run over by the zamboni!
Q: Why don't the Lightning drink tea?
A: Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
Q: What do you call 5 Tampa Bay Lightning players standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
Q: Why are the Lightning like grizzly bears?
A: Every fall they go into hibernation.
Q: What does a recent high school dropout and the Tampa Bay Lightning have in common?
A: They’re both young, have no goals and no good prospects.
Q: What’s the difference between a line of cocaine and a pair of Lightning tickets?
A: People would pass up a pair of Lightning tickets.
Q: What’s the difference between a fat chick and the Tampa Bay Lightning?
A: Even a fat chick scores every once in a while!
Q: Why do the Lightning suck at geometry?
A: Because they never have any points.
Q: What is it called when a Tampa Bay Lightning player blows in another Lightning players ear?
A: Data transfer.
Q: What do college students and the Lightning have in common?
A: They’ve both finished their year by April.
Q: What's blue and orange and goes down the toilet faster than Liquid Plumber?
A: The Tampa Bay Lightning
Q: What do a fine wine and the Tampa Bay Lightning have in common?
A: They both spend a lot of time in the cellar, cost too much and are only enjoyed on select occasions.
Q: Why did the Post Office recall their latest stamps?
A: They had pictures of Lightning players on them and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
Q: Why do people like driving a car with a Lightning fan?
A: Because you can park in the handicap zone!
Q: What do you get when you combine all 23 Tampa Bay Lightning with 23 lesbians?
A: Fourty-Six people that dont do dick!
Q: What is the difference between a Tampa Bay Lightning fan and a pot hole?
A: I would swerve to avoid the pot hole!
Q: What song do Tampa Bay Lightning fans sing before the end of the third period?
A: Nobody knows. There's never any of them left.
Q: What's the difference between the Tampa Bay Lightning and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito stops sucking. Q:
What do the Tampa Bay Lightning and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
Q: What is the difference between a Lightning fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.
Q: Did you hear the Tampa Bay Lightning are moving to the Phillipines?
A: They are going to be called the Manilla Folders!
Q: What do I have in common with the Tampa Bay Lightning?
A: Next week, we'll both be watching the Stanley Cup Finals on television.
Q: What do Tampa Bay Lightning fans and sperm have in common?
A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Q: How many Tampa Bay Lightning does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up
Q: What do you call 23 millionaires around a TV watching the Stanley Cup Finals?
A: The Tampa Bay Lightning.
Q: How can you tell if a Lightning fan just sent you a fax?
A: There's a stamp on it!
Q: What do the Tampa Bay Lightning and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 15,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".
Q: What is the difference between a bucket of crap and an Tampa Bay Lightning fan?
A: The bucket. Q: If you have a car containing a Lightning forward, a Lightning center, and a Lightning defender, who is driving the car? A: The cop.
Q: How do you casterate an Tampa Bay Lightning fan? A: Kick his sister in the mouth Q: What should you do if you find three Tampa Bay Lightning hockey fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.
Q: What's the difference between an Tampa Bay Lightning fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
Q. How did the Tampa Bay Lightning fan die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!
Q: What does an Tampa Bay Lightning fan do when his team has won the Stanley Cup?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.
Q: How many Tampa Bay Lightning fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!
Q: What does a Tampa Bay Lightning fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They’re both empty from the neck up.
Q: Why do Tampa Bay Lightning fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces. Q: How do the Lightning spend the first week of training camp? A: Studying the Miranda Rights
Q: How do you keep a Lightning fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick Flyers orange and black and he won't beat it for 4 years!
Q. Why do ducks fly over St. Pete Times Forum upside down?
A. There's nothing worth craping on!
Q: Why doesn't Miami have a professional hockey team?
A: Because then Tampa Bay would want one.
Q: Did you hear that Tampa Bay's hockey team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.
Q: What's the difference between a St. Pete Times Forum hotdog, and a Wells Fargo Center hotdog?
A: You can buy a Wells Fargo Center hotdog in May! Q: Why did BP hire the Tampa Bay Lightning to clean up the Gulf oil spill? A: Because they'll go out there and throw in the towel!
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Tampa Bay Lightning fan in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog
Q: What is a Tampa Bay Lightning fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Philadelphia."
Q: How do you stop an Tampa Bay Lightning fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Chicago Red and Black!
Q: What’s the difference between the St. Pete Times Forum and a red light district?
A: In a red light district, you pay $300 bucks and somebody scores.
Q: What’s the difference between the Miami Heat and the Tampa Bay Lightning?
A: The Heat shoot at a net.
Q: Why are the Tampa Bay Lightning like United States Postal Service?
A: They both wear uniforms and don't deliver!
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Topic: wild hockey (Read 56655 times)
