Ice fishing fails Iowa style

[Iowaboy1]

I wrote this for laughs a few years ago, Glen was having his usual spearing year, cut a hole in the ice big enough to put his boat in but was so worn out he didnt have the energy to fish after it was done, I will leave it at that.
I hope you enjoy the warped brain of yours truly !!!

well guys this old farm kid thought he would try ice fishing after reading all of the stuff here on ( fill in your favorite dead forum of late ) about it, to my young at heart mind it sounded like lots of fun and I had the hankering for a meal of fresh fish.
I found a friend who had some gear and I told him I would gather the rest of what we needed and we would meet up somewhere and get in on all of the fun I had read about.
gear list,auger,portable shack,smitty sled,buddy heater,fish finder,bait,snacks,cold weather gear,check,check,and check,yup we were ready to go !!!
well,so I thought,my friend said I needed a sensitive rod so off to fleetfarm I went in search of a sensitive rod like I had read that Rodworks here on the site builds,ya see,he came highly recommended by Eelpoutguy and I trust what he says,,,,most of the time,ahem,but I didnt really want to spend that kind of money on a rod I might only use once if I didnt like ice fishing.

I hadnt been in fleetfarm five minutes when I was asked by the dept manager to leave as I was in his words making a scene,??
he didnt accept my explanation that I was only screaming vulgarities at the rods to see which ones were sensitive and which ones would cry first and buy that rod.
I gave up and cut a small branch off of a hickory tree and made my own sensitive rod,I could tell it was sensitive as tree tears were running down the tree where I cut it off from.

I met my friend at the lake,dang it,this ice fishing is starting to be more trouble than its worth already !!
the sheriff caught up with us about ten minutes in and told me in no uncertain terms that my neighbor Smitty wanted his snowmobile back right effing now and wouldnt press charges if I returned it immediately if not sooner and it wasnt scratched anywhere it wasnt already.
Smitty after chewing my butt said I could of had it if I had asked first,two cases of blue smoothies and an hour later I got back on the lake.
back to trying this ice fishing out,whew! so,my friend drills a hole in the ice and I immediately saw another problem,there was no way in heck I was going to be able to use my frabil net so I grabbed my Echo chainsaw with a 36 inch bar on it out of the truck and proceeded to cut a hole large enough for the frabil in the ice.

finally !! we are ice fishing !! and I get a call on my cellphone from my kid brother and he is madder than a hornet.
without going into details he suggested in very strong words that the outhouse from the family farm be returned by days end to where it came from so that no one would fall into the hole that I was so ignorant of leaving without covering,he didnt much care that I was using it for a shack out on the lake,sigh,ice fishing sure pizzes a lot of people off !!
oh,and before I forget,the buddy heater??? Jake said he prefers brunettes,dang it !!
anybody got an idea of what I should do with the pet otter I borrowed to find fish for us?? I dont dare try getting back into the zoo this time of night.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone !! I hope that this made someone chuckle !!
Sheldon

[mike89]

dang funny!!!   

[glenn57]

  and here I thought it was when your auger spun the wrong way.

[Iowaboy1]

True story Glen!! roflmao!! ya, I am baiting EPG here, he will make about the twelfth one that will come over hopefully??

If I can get him over here, I will explain what we are talking about, hilarious !!!

[Scenic]

Good read   

[LPS]

Yup, good one IB

[Bobberineyes]

I gotta chuckle otta that, thanks Iowaboy!