JOTD

[iceman]

DUI - UPPER MICHIGAN STYLE

Only a person in Upper Michigan could think of this. From the county where
drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this true story.

Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Escanaba,Michigan
after last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently
intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking
lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what
seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles,
the man managed to find his car and fall into it.

He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar
and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and
off--it was a fine, dry summer night--, flicked the blinkers on and off a
couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights.

He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then
remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons'
vehicles left.

At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out
and drove slowly down the road.

The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up
his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over
and administered a breathalyzertest.

To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had
consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to
ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment
must be broken." "I doubt it," said the truly proud Yooper.

"Tonight I'm the designated decoy."



 :rock: :rock:
 

[holdemtwice]

 :ROTFLMAO: :ROTFLMAO: :ROTFLMAO: :ROTFLMAO: :ROTFLMAO: :ROTFLMAO: :ROTFLMAO: :ROTFLMAO: :ROTFLMAO: :ROTFLMAO: :ROTFLMAO: :ROTFLMAO: :ROTFLMAO: :ROTFLMAO: :ROTFLMAO:

[luvnlife]

 ::drunks:: ::cheers:: ::drunks:: ::cheers:: ::drunks:: Funny but also scary, you know that it really does happen

[iceman]

Circumcised - this is priceless!
 
A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the
class was squirming around, scratching his crotch,
and not paying attention.
She went back to find out what was going on. He was
quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just
recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.
The teacher told him! to go down to the principal's
office. He was to telephone his mother and ask her
what he should do about it. He did it and returned
to his class.
Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the
room. She went back to investigate only to find him
sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out.
"I thought I told you to call your mom!" she said.
"I did," he said, "And she told me that if I could stick it
out till noon,she'd come and pick me up from school."