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Author Topic: Just funnies.....  (Read 323831 times)

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Offline Jerkbiat

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Hey look your bobber is up!

Offline GrandpaTom

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Do they ever listen?

Online glenn57

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  • 2015 deer contest champ!!!
2015 deer slayer!!!!!!!!!!

Online mike89

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a bad day of fishing is still better than a good day at work!!

Offline HD

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Mama always said, If you ain't got noth'in nice to say, don't say noth'in at all!

Online mike89

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a bad day of fishing is still better than a good day at work!!

Offline GrandpaTom

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Offline HD

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Mama always said, If you ain't got noth'in nice to say, don't say noth'in at all!

Offline Jerkbiat

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 :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: Some good ones!!!
Hey look your bobber is up!

Online mike89

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a bad day of fishing is still better than a good day at work!!

Online Dotch

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Attn: glenn

Time itself is bought and sold, the spreading fear of growing old contains a thousand foolish games that we play. (Neil Young)

Online glenn57

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 :cheerleader: :banghead: training-087 damn santa must have alzheimer's. :confused: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
2015 deer slayer!!!!!!!!!!

Online mike89

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most likely better for ya in the long run!!!   :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :happy1:
a bad day of fishing is still better than a good day at work!!

Offline HD

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Mama always said, If you ain't got noth'in nice to say, don't say noth'in at all!

Online mike89

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 :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :happy1:

that would have been Glenn!!!!   :happy1:
a bad day of fishing is still better than a good day at work!!

Online glenn57

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:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :happy1:

that would have been Glenn!!!!   :happy1:
huh  :scratch: what :doah: who me. :angel: :evil:
2015 deer slayer!!!!!!!!!!

Offline Jerkbiat

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Hey look your bobber is up!

Offline HD

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Mama always said, If you ain't got noth'in nice to say, don't say noth'in at all!

Online mike89

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a bad day of fishing is still better than a good day at work!!

Online glenn57

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  • 2015 deer contest champ!!!
2015 deer slayer!!!!!!!!!!

Offline Jerkbiat

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Hey look your bobber is up!

Offline HD

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Ole and Sven die in a snowmobiling accident, drunker than skunks, And go to Hell. The Devil observes that they are really enjoying themselves. He says to them 'Doesnt the heat and smoke bother you?' Ole replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve're from nordern Minnesooota, da land of snow an ice, an ve're yust happy fer a chance ta varm up a little bit, ya know.'

The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough andturns up the heat even more. When he returns to the room of the two from Minnesota , the devil finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling Walleye and drinking beer. The devil is astonished and exclaims, 'Everyone down here is in misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves?' Sven replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve don't git too much varm veather up dere at da Falls, so ve've yust got ta haff a fish fry vhen da veather's dis nice.'

The devil is absolutely furious. He can hardly see straight. Finally he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in Hell. The next morning, the temperature is 60 below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, and people are shivering so bad that they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their teeth. The devil smiles and heads for the room with Ole and Sven. He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, bomber hats, and mittens. They are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men.

The devil is dumbfounded, 'I don't understand, when I turn up the heat you're happy. Now its freezing cold and you're still happy. What is wrong with you two?'

They both look at the devil in surprise and say, 'Vell, don't ya know, if hell iss froze over, dat must mean da Vikings von da Super Bowl.'
Mama always said, If you ain't got noth'in nice to say, don't say noth'in at all!

Online mike89

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yea right!!   :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :happy1:
a bad day of fishing is still better than a good day at work!!

Offline Jerkbiat

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Oh that is a good one!!! :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Hey look your bobber is up!

Offline LPS

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A classic and it's not very funny.   :confused:  :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

Online mike89

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A classic and it's not very funny.   :confused:  :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

why do say that??  cause you might resemble it??   :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :happy1:  sorry had to say it!!  besides Glenn dared me!!   :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :happy1:
a bad day of fishing is still better than a good day at work!!

Online glenn57

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A classic and it's not very funny.   :confused:  :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

why do say that??  cause you might resemble it??   :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :happy1:  sorry had to say it!!  besides Glenn dared me!!   :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :happy1:
:tut: :tut: :tut: did no such thing!!!!!!!! :pouty:
2015 deer slayer!!!!!!!!!!

Offline LPS

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It actually is funny.  It is just that the Vikings suck.

Online mike89

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As a joke, my brother Jim used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill them.
What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although Jim's kids' stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty.
One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don't sell those things at Wal-Mart. I had to go to an adult bookstore .
If you've never been in an X-rated store, don't go, you'll only confuse yourself. I was there an hour saying things like, 'What does this do?' 'You're kidding me!' 'Who would buy that?' Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section.
I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my truck so I could use the car pool lane during rush hour.
Finding what I wanted was difficult. 'Love Dolls' come in many different models. The top of the line, according to the side of the box, could do things I'd only seen in a book on animal husbandry. I settled for 'Lovable Louise.' She was at the bottom of the price scale.
To call Louise a 'doll' took a huge leap of imagination.
On Christmas Eve and with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise came to life.
My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours. Long after Santa had come and gone, I filled the dangling pantyhose with Louise's pliant legs and bottom. I also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. I went home, and giggled for a couple of hours.
The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him VERY happy, but had left the dog confused. She would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more.
We all agreed that Louise should remain in her pantyhose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional Christmas dinner.
My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door. 'What the hell is that?' she asked.
My brother quickly explained, 'It's a doll.'
"Who would play with something like that?' Granny snapped.
I kept my mouth shut.
'Where are her clothes?' Granny continued.
'Boy, that turkey sure smells nice, Gran,' Jim said, to steer her into the dining room.
But Granny was relentless. 'Why doesn't she have any teeth?'
Again, I could have answered, but why would I? It was Christmas and no one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, 'Hang on Granny, hang on!'
My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, 'Hey, who's the naked gal by the fireplace?' I told him she was Jim's friend.
A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the mantel, talking to Louise. Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was then that we realized this might be Grandpa's last Christmas at home.
The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had died, who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise made a noise like my father in the bathroom in the morning. Then she lurched from the mantel, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. The cat screamed. I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and Grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
My brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants.
Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car.
It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember.
Later in my brother's garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of Louise's collapse. We discovered that Louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh.
Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we restored her to perfect health.
I can't wait until next Christmas.

a bad day of fishing is still better than a good day at work!!

Offline GrandpaTom

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As a joke, my brother Jim used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill them.
What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although Jim's kids' stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty.
One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don't sell those things at Wal-Mart. I had to go to an adult bookstore .
If you've never been in an X-rated store, don't go, you'll only confuse yourself. I was there an hour saying things like, 'What does this do?' 'You're kidding me!' 'Who would buy that?' Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section.
I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my truck so I could use the car pool lane during rush hour.
Finding what I wanted was difficult. 'Love Dolls' come in many different models. The top of the line, according to the side of the box, could do things I'd only seen in a book on animal husbandry. I settled for 'Lovable Louise.' She was at the bottom of the price scale.
To call Louise a 'doll' took a huge leap of imagination.
On Christmas Eve and with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise came to life.
My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours. Long after Santa had come and gone, I filled the dangling pantyhose with Louise's pliant legs and bottom. I also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. I went home, and giggled for a couple of hours.
The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him VERY happy, but had left the dog confused. She would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more.
We all agreed that Louise should remain in her pantyhose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional Christmas dinner.
My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door. 'What the hell is that?' she asked.
My brother quickly explained, 'It's a doll.'
"Who would play with something like that?' Granny snapped.
I kept my mouth shut.
'Where are her clothes?' Granny continued.
'Boy, that turkey sure smells nice, Gran,' Jim said, to steer her into the dining room.
But Granny was relentless. 'Why doesn't she have any teeth?'
Again, I could have answered, but why would I? It was Christmas and no one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, 'Hang on Granny, hang on!'
My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, 'Hey, who's the naked gal by the fireplace?' I told him she was Jim's friend.
A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the mantel, talking to Louise. Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was then that we realized this might be Grandpa's last Christmas at home.
The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had died, who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise made a noise like my father in the bathroom in the morning. Then she lurched from the mantel, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. The cat screamed. I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and Grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
My brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants.
Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car.
It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember.
Later in my brother's garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of Louise's collapse. We discovered that Louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh.
Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we restored her to perfect health.
I can't wait until next Christmas.
I have a few face book friends name Jim, so I stole this and asked which one is getting a Christmas gift.  Thanks